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As I’ve done my very best to not go out of me way to not care about the Olympics, it’s been very hard to completely miss George W. Bush making an ass of himself in China.  The silly faces and gestures he’s made were likely throwback moves when he was class clown, I mean cheerleader, way back when.

Then I caught an excerpt from an interview he did with Bob Costas.

Q If these Olympics are as successful as they are shaping up to be, most people believe this only further legitimizes the ruling party in the minds on most Chinese citizens. And even absent true liberty as we understand it, the lives of hundreds of millions of Chinese people are much better than they once were. Therefore, what’s the party’s incentive to reform?

THE PRESIDENT: Well, first of all, if you’re a religious person, you understand that once religion takes hold in a society it can’t be stopped. And secondly, I think the Olympics are going to serve as a chance for people to come and see China the way it is, and let the Chinese see the world and interface and have the opportunity to converse with people from around the world. This is a very positive development, in my view, for peace.

The Jon Stewart response to the first part of Bush’s response was that he must be talking about Christianity, but if your religion rhymes with, I don’t know, “buslim” then we must destroy you.

Here’s what gets me.  The response to “religious freedom” is that “once religion takes hold in a society it can’t be stopped.”  I don’t think he’s talking about religion in general; I think he’s talking about a specific religion.  If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have needed to start with “if you’re a religious person.”

One of my fears is that religion “can’t be stopped.”  This is hardly an argument for freedom of religion at all.  He’s implying that people become dependent on it and we can make decisions based on it and that religious law can become the law of the land.

How can a leader speak of freedom of religion while pointing toward control by religion in the same sentence?

Only George Bush could justify himself that way.

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Another e-mail.  May have been an advertisement for Thomas Kincade paintings.  There was representations of about four of them in animated form.

One rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets
of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the
roads are wet and slick.

Suddenly, my daughter, Aspen,
spoke up from her relaxed position in her seat. “Dad, I’m
thinking of something.”

This announcement usually meant she had been pondering some
fact for a while, and was now ready to expound all
that her six-year-old mind had discovered. I was eager to hear.

“What are you thinking?” I asked.

“The rain!” she began, “is like sin, and the windshield
wipers are like God wiping our sins away.”

After the chill bumps raced up my arms I was able to respond.
“That’s really good, Aspen.”

Then my curiosity broke in. How far would this little girl take
this revelation? So I asked… “Do you notice how the rain
keeps on coming? What does that tell you?”

Aspen didn’t hesitate one moment with her answer:
“We keep on sinning, and God just keeps on forgiving us.”

I will always remember this whenever I turn my wipers on.

Isn’t it distressing to know that when you forward this message
you will not send it to many on your address list because
you’re not sure what they believe, or what they
will think of you for sending it to them.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think
of us than what God thinks of us.

In order to see the Rainbow, you must first endure some Rain.

My first response was simply “wtf”.  Basically, why are you sending me this garbage.  Then I thought about it for a few days and replied with the rest of the story.

As they pull up to their cookie-cutter suburban house, the car takes its place in front of the house on the street.  Aspen was feeling pretty good about herself as she reached for the door handle when her sister, Jessica, pipes up.

“You don’t have an umbrella.”
“So?, ” replies Aspen.
“Do you really want to run around out there with all that sin falling all over you?  Don’t you need protection from here to the house?  If the windshield wipers are like god, then your umbrella is like a church- giving you shelter and cover from all the oncoming sin.”

Well this stopped Aspen cold.  She couldn’t move and only stared out the window as their father has already made it up the house steps and stood in the doorway waiting.  She could only think about stepping out of the car and becoming soaked in sin without protection.

Then Jessica feeling pleased, as would any good sister, starts again.

“It’s not sin dummy.  Rain just happens.  Nobody puts it here and tells it to rain today.  That’s just the way the world works.  Nobody made it sunny last week and nobody is going to make it snow or not snow this winter.  It’s just how the world works.”

Still Aspen couldn’t move as she stared at the sin running down the window.

“Look,”  Jessica continued, “life happens around us constantly.  We don’t know who we’re going to meet or what events are going to happen to us; the events just come this way.  It’s not that rain is bad.  It’s more that we have to accept the rain and be able to handle it.  If we view the world as good and bad all the time, then we never get over that point.  If we view the world as events, then we must merely prepare ourselves to get over it.”

Still Aspen couldn’t quite get her years of Sunday School out of her head as she watched two little drops of sin race down as if the first one to bottom of the window owned her soul.  Jessica decided she had to take one last try as their dad had begun to look worried in the doorway.

“Here,” she said as she opened the door and stuck her hand out collecting a couple raindrops and pulling them back in to the car.  “Nobody placed these raindrops in my hand.  There is no guiding hand that said these two raindrops should be here.  I simply reached out and pulled in two raindrops that came across my hand.”  Aspen looked at her instead of the running sin for the first time.

“It’s not sin,”  as Jessica continued since she had her sister’s undivided attention for the first time.  “It’s rain.  Sometimes we come across a little rain.  We can be worried about it or we can understand that rain will fall.  So we’re going to go in, get a little wet, ask Mom to make us some hot chocolate to warm up, and we’ll be fine.  Tomorrow, we’ll put on our boots and go stomp in some sin puddles.”

As Jessica saw the little light go off in Aspen’s head, Jessica got out of the car and laughed as the rain fell down on her.  She opened the door for Aspen and said one last thing, “Think for yourself.”  With that, the two girls ran toward the house taking a moment to enjoy the random rain that fell upon them knowing that they had nothing to be afraid of as long as they took responsibility for themselves.

And some hot chocolate.

It’s always perspective.  Thomas Kincade paintings don’t bring miracles and convincing your six year old that life is good and evil or black and white gives me chills more than it should you.

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We received an invitation.  I think everybody in our town did.  We didn’t think anything of it though.  There was no way that we were going to attend such an event.

Nonetheless, my doorbell rang the other day as my daughter’s friend hollered for her to come out.

“You gotta see this, you gotta see this!”  She shouted as she saw my daughter.

And out they went.

Soon they were back to get my other daughter.  Again with the same “gotta see this” yelling.

I saw it as I came home that afternoon.  The big inflatable jumping thing and the barbecue going and the loads of people.  Why it was the church block party, and it was right here in my neighborhood.

I guess I’m lucky enough to have a local preacher living in my neighborhood and he sponsored a block party to help spread the word.  I’m sure all expenses were tax deductible.

They (I know there was more than one pusher) ask my daughter and her friend if they went to church.  They answered no.  Maybe they could see it in my daughters’ eyes.  They weren’t going to get very far with this one.  She’s been taught tolerance and given the freedom to think for herself.  They handed a pamphlet to the friend.

“Enjoy your time, ” they said.

Peddling church like a carnival.

On a different occasion from a different church we found a packet with some information and two pieces of Double Bubble gum.  My kids could only ask, “Why would a church give you gum?”

Good question.

Somehow we’re more likely to go to church and buy the stories if they only give us a little something.  Is salvation not enough anymore?  Is it not enough to guilt people with their souls?

A different church was parked outside the local grocery store a month ago.  Note that the local grocery store isn’t a mom and pop’s, but rather a Safeway.  Anyway, the people parked outside it were handing to shoppers a cup of soda…. and a pamphlet.

Do these gimmicks work?  Does a few pennies worth of pop and gum or a block party actually achieve higher turnout?

If so, then what is the point?  Why do they need higher turnout if the simple message they are trying to tell is not enough?  If the message was enough, then no product or game would be necessary.  Instead they offer something to people in order to expand their base.

If expanding the base is not done with the message, then what’s to be gained?

You have to spend money to get money is what I have often heard.  Must be money to made for somebody in there somewhere.

Several more examples of doing whatever it takes to make a buck.

Greedy fuckers.

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One of the challenges in taking a new job is learning how your co-workers and various bosses are.  For bosses, learning their styles is the first hurdle.  Similar to a new professor in college, a person who wishes to succeed must adapt to the style of the boss in order to be successful.

Recently I discussed my boss and how he has been reading the Bible at work.  While I find it odd that a person would read the Bible at work, this bothers me very little.  Only because he does not discuss it and only reads it in his office.  I also find it peculiar that a man who claims to never read decides this is it.  This is the one book.

Now his boss is in another state.  I’ve only interacted with him over the phone.  I’ve been told he’s a big guy and he definitely has a big voice.  One of these people I’ve met before who yells when things are quite right.  A first class bully.

Well, over the last few weeks, this man I’ve never met has been noticeably calmer.  Only it’s attempted calmness.  It’s forced.  It’s killing him.  I’ve commented to my boss that I think he’s on Prozac.

A few days after the post regarding my boss reading the Bible, this interaction happened over the phone.  My boss always talks to everybody on speaker… except his wife.  For clarity’s sake, if I’m infinity, my boss will be pi and his boss will be zero.  I’ve eliminated quotes for the story, since some of it is not quotes.

Calmly, Zero began talking about how all we can do is what we can do.  Calmly is not Zero’s style.  As I stand there listening to the conversation, I mouth the word “prozac” to Pi.

Pi speaks up.  We have a question, he says, You’ve been calm lately.  Are you taking Prozac or something?”

No, a slightly agitated Zero says.  I’ve been going to church more.  I figure if I have more faith, my customers can see it and will like me more.  So that’s what it is, if you must know.

I must of had a look of disbelief.  Maybe annoyance as well.

Pi asked, what religion.

Quickly, Zero snapped, Christian.  And I’m not Wiccan or one of those crazy Christian extremists that are running around.

OK, I had to ask.  What kind? asked Pi.

I used to go to an Evangelical church, but now I go to a Crossroads church.  My preacher is really good.  Is on T.V. and the radio.

I know I am shaking my head.  I can’t help myself.

Infinity is a practicing atheist, says Pi.  There it was, he announced it.  I’m not afraid of people knowing, I just don’t want some people knowing.  Especially when they are bullies that are over me.

He is not, said Zero.

Well, he knows a lot about all religions, and I mean a lot, but doesn’t practice any, said Pi

He is not- are you?  Are you an atheist, Infinity? queried Zero after a bit of a pause.

I answered, Yes I am.

I hope that works out for you, replied Zero.

I thought of many ways to answer this.  Confrontational is how I prefer to go.  Many answers to somebody suggesting I’ll get mine on judgment day.  I decided to stay calm.

So far so good.

A knowing chuckle from Zero and then business finished.  Back to business.

Later I had to call Zero’s office.  I knew he wouldn’t be there.  I talked to the guy who does my job for Zero.  See Zero had called me on my cell phone and asked I call the office.

Hey, Zero needs you to call him.

Oh, I must have left my phone in the car.  Slight pause.  Maybe if he prays hard enough, I’ll hear it.

I learned a ton from this conversation.  Apparently Zero got in trouble with his wife.  That prompted him to go to church regularly and really drive the chatter home.  He brought in his radio and listens to his really good preacher with it blasted all day.  He’s driving everybody nuts.

Another reason why religion doesn’t belong in the office.  And if it doesn’t belong in the office, then it doesn’t belong anywhere public- especially the government.

People like Zero have no tolerance for anybody else and their way.  I’m waiting to see if this has an impact on how he treats me or deals with me in the future.

The truth is, I have a tried and tested philosophy.  My wife accepts it and believes the same as I do.  Zero has to change focus because he gets in trouble.  In reality, he’s still the same guy holding back how he really wants to treat people.  He’ll likely explode one day or just revert back to his old ways.

As his person told me, going to church doesn’t change who you are.

I hope that works out for him.

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My boss doesn’t read.  Well, he never did before and has expressed his dislike for reading many times.

We have some downtime during the days often and I have been reading various books.  Both fiction and non-fiction.  Whatever gets me through the day.  He generally sits in his office and plays Tetris on his cell phone.  Sometimes I solve Sudoku puzzles.  It’s a great atmosphere.  Sometimes he reads the news and we discuss what’s going on in the world, but those moments are short and rare- the way they should be.

I took a week off and when I came back, my boss was reading.

There it was.  The neat pages with the gold edges.  And it was leather bound too.

My boss had the Bible open right on his desk and has the entire week.  He spent the entire week studying it as if he were seeking something great.

He asks me what I’m reading.  I started a book Tuesday that I finished Thursday; reading it only during work hours.  I tell him Tuesday that so far the main character is posing as a suicide line worker and all he does is tell people to kill themselves.

What a good, strange book that was.  He asked me again the next day and I didn’t want to tell him more.  It was about a man who grew up in a church cult so he didn’t quite get society and socialized norms.  He later became a media-made messiah.  His friend sees the future.  The cult killed themselves.  They were phony.  The author writes in short sentences this way.  He bounces back and forth through ideas.  He doesn’t use quotes often.  The book was good.

My boss never mentions his Bible.  He never tells me anything.  Other than that he goes to church and teaches Sunday school so his Sunday mornings are booked, he doesn’t mention anything about his religion.  That is good.

He plays on his church softball team.  They suck.

He played on my heathen softball team.  We won the league.

I’ve also worked through some Dawkins for something to read.  That’s called preaching to the choir so I have a hard time reading it.  I’d probably read the Bible easier.  I’ve also spent some time this last month reading Palast, Chomsky, and Hartmann.  I don’t think my boss knows who any of those people are.

There we are, though, the good and evil of our civilization in one office.  He’s reading all the proof and arguments that he needs to understand that his god exists and to refute any point that an atheist like me could make.  I’m reading all the proof I need that there is no god and gathering quotable information to refute any arguments a Christian, Muslim, or Jew may make.

There is no HR for 1,000 miles.  Although, a phone call could make it feel as if HR is real close.

I wonder if my boss got in trouble.  If his newly wed wife got mad at him for something.  If he’s trying to find the arguments to make a point to her or show that he’s a better person today than he was a week ago?

He doesn’t read!  The Bible is very tough to read.  Maybe he has a slang version?  A leather-bound, golden page edged, slang version.

I don’t think the Bible is appropriate for workplace atmosphere.  I will never complain.  I’m unoffendable.

I’m amazed at just how many people have had their Bibles open on their desks at work over the years.  How many people think that it’s appropriate to read their religious texts in plain view of the world.  I guess that their belief system suggests they do.  It allows them to create a clique of Bible readers.

I often wonder why they don’t read something else.  Why it is that they not only have to spend all their free time reading this text, but they squeeze it in any chance they can.

I feel like telling them that I know how it ends.

Spoiler alert…

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